Pre-Trip Anxiety

Ugh! One of the lines I hear quite often is, "You are so brave!" Depending on the day I may reply back that sometimes brave is not brave, but just plain crazy. Today is one of those days.

(This is me pre DC move, feeling brave.)

(This is me in a pre-beach moment of anxiety.)

I just this morning returned from a week at the beach with my family. I have not yet been home for 12 hours, but nevertheless I am a nervous wreck. The gravity of what I am doing has really hit me. I am going to a country where I speak barely 100 words and have no idea where I will be living. At dinner tonight, I quizzed my dad on the numbers and my mom on the alphabet. (Both parents have been taking Italian lessons for over a year, never having planned on having to use it to visit their daughter.) The first five minutes of dinner was me practicing counting to ten repeatedly and then making my parents count with me. The rest of dinner was spent trying to name the items on the table. Too many were unknown to us all so my mom sat with our Italian-English dictionary open through the rest of dinner helping me muddle along. After all of that effort all I can remember is insalata and my first 10 numbers-- except 5, I can't remember that one. It's not enough like French. This is not a good sign for my language skills.

Language aside, I have taken to obsessively strolling the streets of what I think will be my neighborhood on google maps. Luckily, it looks safe, but two things that concern me are a) the distance to the school's neighborhood and b) the grocery stores. Let's start with the aerial view of google maps. My school and possible neighborhood are south of the actual city of Milan. When looking from above, it looks way too far for me to ride everyday on my bike. Perhaps it isn't too far (I can never tell distances on google maps), but I think I'll be riding on a highway. From what I hear of the Italian drivers, this could be my end. I am slow and wobbly so I can just picture swerving into a car to let the cyclists behind me pass and my body sprawled out on the side of the highway (and dying because I can't explain the pain or understand what directions are being given to me). I have 2 (due) bike helmets, just in case.

Food is my second concern. My endless virtual strolling has turned up a soccer field, many apartment buildings, a restaurant, a church, a park, and a gym but not one single market or grocery store. I marvel at how this is possible. What if I can't find the store and can't ask or understand how to get there? What if I accidentally touch the food? Will I get arrested or just scolded? The whole Amanda Knox thing has given me little faith in the Italian judicial system.

Next morning update: I just reread the information the school sent me and it assures me that the ride to the school from my possible neighborhood is a bike path. At least, there will be no swerving into traffic, just other bikers. Whew! I also reread that there is a big grocery store somewhere in the neighborhood. However, my food touching anxiety has doubled; you can get fined for touching food. I'm a toucher so this is not looking good for me. Time to take a break from death and jail worries to go fret over packing all my stuff!